No longer to how longs.

Sometimes, more than anything else, what we actually fear of, are the promises that we make that we ourselves aren’t sure of keeping. 

Some think they’ll put their everything to make it work. The others think that they don’t need to make them because they aren’t so sure of keeping them or making them last.

There is wait, that’ll be eternal. There is expectation, that needn’t be a reality. 

More often than not, it is not what we decide to be, it is about how circumstances mould you. 

It’s never too early or never too late I thought, but I now think it is. It’s too early to decide and too late to let go. 

We are the choices that we make. We are the decisions that we take. When things aren’t in control, resort to something which we will always end up with, ‘The destinty’.

It’s not about yes or no. It is about being the right one to say it. I am afraid, to all the uncontrollable things, I ain’t the one who gets to decide that. 

Besides, most often mistaken thought of all of us, we think we have time. And we also think that we know what we want. Whereas, in actuality, we don’t really know. We either accept or reject what’s being given to us.

Ultimately, it isn’t about what you have asked for, it is about what the nature has to offer you with, for what it thinks will suit you best.

There is past to get over with, there is present to welcome and there is future to be expectant of. 

I have forgotten how the past has been, but not the lessons I have been taught. I have grown to be insensitive in my own sensitive way. 

I don’t have my answers yet and neither would I want to keep the waiting process alive. Don’t wait. Don’t dive. See through the noisy shore from far far away, thinking how beautiful it would be to have a dip in, and just pass by because you never know how deep it could get and if you’ll alive to tell your diving story to the world.

I don’t trust myself enough, to be an answer. I could try, but there is one thing for sure, I ain’t into fake promises. I ain’t saying because I am not sure. I ain’t moving around because I feel safe where ever I am now, by myself. 

Even if I am offered with something really really phenomenonal, one in some normalised billion, I am frightened to have it for myself. What really scares me is that, once I get the taste of it, I can’t let go of it or let’s just say I’ll be so habituated that I won’t continue to exist by myself.

What’s the criteria to decide, anything for that matter, time? experienceawareness?


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